When you're not feeling it...

The truth of the matter is simply this. Missionaries, not super human. Not really even exceptional. We are indeed quite ordinary. Even the best of us have terrible days, we have days where we wish we could wake up back in our home countries, we get tired, sick and frustrated; because we are still human, therefore inherently flawed!

Yesterday my human was showing a little more than normal. I woke up in the morning and realized I was suffering from another pesky local illness. (the week before it as a strange skin problem) So I took the medicine to get rid of said illness, but the medicine caused a negative reaction that made me feel sicker! (thanks a lot sensitive stomach!) So I spent most of my morning resting and trying not to lose my breakfast! When afternoon rolled around my family prepared to head into the village.

Twice a week we go into the village armed with a Tagalog Bible, guitar and song sheets, for a time of prayer and praise with our Ati friends. But as we gathered everyone up this particular afternoon typical "Sunday Morning" attitudes appeared.
You know what I mean. Its Sunday morning, you are getting ready for church and one of the kids gets crabby and starts picking on the others. Before you can finish tying your shoes half the kids are crying the others stand with arms crossed and unpleasant looks on their faces! Then you think to yourself "I might as well stay home!"

That was me yesterday. Feeling ill already and hoping that it wouldn't grow into something horrible while in the village (not an ideal place to be ill) Then the kids starting picking at each other. I felt my stomach do a few cartwheels inside me and I thought for a good solid minute
"Nope this is just not my day. I am going to stay home this is not worth it."

But instead of giving up, despite the fact that I wasn't "feeling it" I went. As I sat on the trike holding my guitar that still small Holy Spirit voice came into my heart and said "Child, you decide how this goes. For my glory or for your own selfishness" I did a heart check, I asked for help and I forced myself to change my attitude. I didn't put on a mask and pretend I was in a good mood, I simply changed my mood.

We walked into the village and were greeted by the usual smiling faces of the Ati children. When we reached the top of the hill, we sat down in the little nipa shelter where we held our Praise and Prayer time, ladies began to wander in from around the village. We had a nice chat with some of them and then began singing. Today the ladies put extra effort into the songs, we have been introducing them to new music. There church experiences so far have been hymns only and all other types have been only in English. So we worked to gather a few Tagalog contemporary Christians worship songs. I loved hearing them trying so hard to sing along this time. Then we had our Bible reading time. Because this time is to  encourage the Ati to grow in their personal relationships with the Lord we like to read the Bible in Tagalog. I had prepared ahead of time a scripture from Proverbs with the plan to read it aloud. I decided on the spot to ask one of the ladies to volunteer to read it. One of our dear friends shyly agreed to it. I couldn't help but wonder if she had ever done anything like this before. After the scripture was read we asked for prayer requests which the ladies told me in Tagalog and I wrote them in the book in English so that my parents could pray for them as well. The lady who read out loud asked that we pray for the salvation of the Ati community, she expressed a burden for those in her tribe who still didn't trust in Jesus. It was a special moment for me as I was encouraged to hear an Ati believer express they too wished to see all the Ati come to love Jesus.

Then during prayer one of the ladies prayed out loud (this doesn't happen every time due to their shy personalities). Then after we said amen they asked to sing another song! This had never happened before. They requested we sing a song called "Walang Impossible Sa Atin Diyos" (Nothing is impossible for our God) Then after a few ladies asked to keep their lyric sheets until next time because they wanted to learn the lyrics. One lady said to me in Tagalog:

"I wish to sing these to my grandchildren when I rock them to sleep at night. These songs are so beautiful, I have never heard such pretty songs."
It warmed my heart to hear that!

As we walked out of the village my mood was quite the opposite of what it had been earlier. Encouraged, strengthened, joyful! It was probably one of the most fruitful Praise and Prayer times we had so far since we began doing it.

So on a day that I was just not feeling it God moved in a huge way!
My encouragement to you is to keep going! On days you are sure you don't have the energy to deal with life and it seems it would be better just to lay down and accept defeat, don't do it! Pick yourself up, keep your eyes fixed on Him and keep going! The greatest fruits come from the greatest effort!

The view from the top of the mountain behind the village.

 

The Scripture we read at Praise and Prayer yesterday.

Proverbs 3:19-26

The Lord by wisdom founded the earth,
By understanding He established the heavens.
 By His knowledge the deeps were broken up
And the skies drip with dew.
 My son, let them not vanish from your sight;
Keep sound wisdom and discretion,
 So they will be life to your soul
And adornment to your neck.
 Then you will walk in your way securely
And your foot will not stumble.
 When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
 Do not be afraid of sudden fear
Nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;
 For the Lord will be your confidence
And will keep your foot from being caught